22 October 2017

PUMPKINS, BUNNY HATS & PHOTOGRAPHY #LITTLELOVES


I discovered this #littleloves linky a while ago and it has sat in my drafts for forever and I thought it was about time I actually posted it. I really love this idea and I think it's always a good thing to reflect on the little things you've loved throughout the week because all too often they get forgotten or overshadowed by the mundane, everyday bullshit. 

Here are mine:









I've been really loving these blogs this week:



dearmummybear.co.uk







The Mist! I've been hooked on Jane The Virgin for a while now and fancied a change and this was the first thing Netflix suggested and it didn't disappoint! I actually spent all day binge watching the first season and it's amazing! It's based on the book by Stephen King and looking online it didn't get a very good review but I loved it!











Technically I made this a while ago now but it's only just started getting cold enough for Lily to wear hats, much to her displeasure. This little bunny hat is the first thing I have crocheted since fucking up my wrist back in April. I'm really pleased with how it turned out considering I wasn't working from a pattern. I lined the inside of the ears with Liberty of London fabric which I think is so pretty. Quite proud of this one.










Technically not something I wore but there little Kickers are so cute! I had been on the hunt for decent shoes for Lily for a while, we got Clarks at first but the fit was crap and she couldn't walk properly in them so after much thought we went for Kickers. They are the first pair of shoes that she has walked outside confidently in and they were also recommended by the physiotherapist for her bendy ankles and they seem to be helping so I'm really pleased with them!











Storm Brian is currently shaking the place up where I am as I'm writing this. There is something about the rain that calms my soul. Although, my love for storms is very much a love hate one, I love the beauty of nature but the destruction that comes hand in hand with Mother Nature is just awful.





We had a family day out to Packwood House on Friday to get the autumnal vibes going with their pumpkin patch. We had a little photography session with the kids which was challenging to say the least haha. Me and Ben studied media and photograph together at college and it's quite rare these days that we both get out cameras out at the same time but it was so nice to whack up the nostalgia by taking the cameras out along with the bustle of switching up lenses. Saying that though, taking photos of a running toddler with a camera that doesn't auto focus is a bitch.

So that's my little loves for this week! If you want to join in then click on the link below for all you need to know <3




Little Loves Coffee Work Sleep Repeat

21 October 2017

LILY'S 21 MONTH UPDATE



Weight 

I've not had her weighed this month so I'm not 100% sure. I tend to have her weighed every few months these days. 
Clothes Size 

She's now very much in 9-12, some 6-9 months still fit her but it's mostly 9-12 now with a few 12-18 jumpers.
Milk 

Cutting down on the breastfeeding has gone totally out of the window this month as we have all had cold after cold after cold and she's just wanted to feed loads which has been hard but sometimes it's the only thing that will calm her down.

Food

Food is another things that's packed up and fucked off out the window due to snot and coughs. She enjoyed a whole poppadom the other day though which she loved, normally I break them up for her so having a whole one was quite the novelty in Lily world. She's also quite liking crackers particularly the Tuc ones, she will nibble away on them quite happily.

Teeth 

We now have 4 teeth cutting at once and we DEFINITELY know about it. 


Sleep 
Sleep has not only gone out the window, it's packed its bags and fucked off to another universe. What with being ill and teething she has been feeding like a newborn all month and I've had the flu so it's basically been hell. I've been ill for over a month which I'm sure is down to not getting any bloody sleep. The cot hasn't made a difference really but I've started putting her in it with a quilt int he hope that she won't wake up because she's cold as she has a deep hatred for blankets and kicks them off so I am hoping the quilt will 1. be harder to kick off and 2. it is slightly heavier so I'm hoping that will some how help. Fuck knows how much I'm hoping anyway.
Milestones 
We finally have some words! I wrote a blog post earlier in the month of the words Lily can say (read here) and since then she has said loads more. Her voice is little and whispery but they are words and I'm so proud and relieved.

She can also knows and can point to various body parts. Mainly head, shoulders, knees and toes but also nose and eyes. Good old nursery rhymes. 

Likes 

We have entered the Peppa Pig stage. Or "ig" as Lily calls it. 
She loves any and all animals, she will point at every dog and tell them they're an "og" and wants to know what each and every creature is. 
Colouring in animals in books. I will never be able to sell or donate her books because there are tiny scribbles in every single one pretty much!
Cats. She gets so excited by cats. Cats in real life, cat toys, cats in videos or on TV. Cats cats cats. Particularly *this video* of some cats with a lobster and a fish in a bowl.

Duplo. She loves building super tall towers and lining the bricks up. 


Her little shopping basket we got from The Entertainer. She loves putting it on her head haha!


Her ride on toys, she's now finally tall enough to properly be able to scoot about and she loves it!


Walking outside. 


Cat videos on YouTube. She will laugh her little head off just watching cats follow each other.
Dislikes

Blankets
touching her feet or anything touching her feet in general.
Having her eyes cleaned. She has conjunctivitis at the moment and literally hates me whenever I need to wash her eyes.
YouTube adverts. Literally fucks her off so much, how dare anything come between her and Pingu time. 
How am I feeling?

Apart from being ill for the past month I've been feeling alright. The breastfeeding aversion has been strong again lately and I've been struggling quite badly with negative thoughts about feeding but I kind of expected it seeing as Lily is pretty much attached to a boob 80% of the time. There are points where I would rather chop my own tit off than feed her which then gives me all the Mum guilt in the history of Mum guilt ever. I don't enjoy breastfeeding at all but realistically at the moment, I'd get even less sleep if I didn't because she point blank won't settle at night properly for Ben. I do want to stop soon though so we will have to see how it goes I guess. 

Catch up with her other updates here.

20 October 2017

AUTUMN SKINCARE COLLECTION


I've been majorly sucking in the skincare department for far too long now and I've been trying my best to at least cleanse, tone and moisturise a few times a week. I used to be such a skincare junkie, always trying new products and making sure I do all the steps everyday but I've been neglecting myself for long enough and I've been trying my best to look after my skin a little better.


My skin hates everything, hormones, heat, wind, central heating. It never knows whether it's coming or going with a mixture of dry and oily which makes it pretty difficult to find products that work for me but I've plunged into my rather ridiculously large stash of products and these are my current favourites:




Liz Earle Cleanse & Polish has been a favourite of mine for about 5 years now, I always go back to this. My skin loves it and I can always tell if I've not used it in a while. I use this to take my make up off, as a mask or just as a quick cleanse. If I'm in the bath I will leave it on for a little longer as a sort of quick fix mask and it'll sort out any breakouts.




I got this little Mount Purious Rosewater Toner in a Pink Parcel Box not long ago. I have always loved rosewater as a facial toner. I always have trouble finding a toner that doesn't break me out or dry my skin to buggery but this makes my skin so soft! It smells amazing but I've noticed a vinegary smell to it lately so I'm not sure if it's gone off? It is more apparent if I don't shake it before use, not sure if that's a thing but other than the funky smell it's brilliant!



I got the SportFX Cool Down Primer and Recovery Gel in a Pink Parcel and it's my new favourite primer! It's designed to be used after physical activity, like actual gym sessions not running around after a toddler but that totally counts as a work out right? This is basically a game changer for me and my anxiety! I use this before applying make up which generally means I'm going out. When I start getting anxious my face gets really red and hot but this primer really helps control that. I've also been using it randomly since having really bad sinusitis to cool my face down and help the pain. I love love love love this!




This Figs & Rouge 3 in 1 Hero Cream is a pretty heavy moisturiser so if you don't like something you can feel on your face you probably won't get on with this. I was expecting to break out after using this because anything even remotely heavy normally clogs my face to utter hell but surprisingly this hasn't upset it at all. After getting over the sensation of a heavy cream I fell in love with it. It contains sesame seed oil, avocado oil aloe, cucumber and carrot seed extract and Hyaluronic Acid along with a nourishing Vitamin Complex A, C & E which promotes your skins natural repair system and destroys free radicals. I got this in the June Pink Parcel. 




Caudalie Beauty Elixr is something I have loved for many years now, I first spoke about my love for it on my blog 5 years ago and it's been a firm favourite ever since! It's uses are endless, I love using it as a make up refresher throughout the day as a little pick me up, I find it really gets my glow on and not in a shiny, sweaty way. The scent is always great for anxiety and nausea along with spot killing abilities without drying the skin which is something I always have trouble with.


Zap Zap! Zap! Gets That Chap Day and Night Spot Stick is another subscription box goodie that I received in my Ms Flow Box. I've never really got on with spot sticks, my skin is  a bitch basically and it'll be oily one second and create a spot yet if I put something on it then it'll become drier than the fucking Sahara, flaky and gross as hell. This stick doesn't do that, it just kills the spot like it's meant to and thus has become part of my skincare staples!



Another long standing favourite! Liz Earle Eyebright! This is great for tired Mombie eyes, I tend to soak a cotton pad and lay int he bath with them over my eyes but I find popping it in the fridge before putting it on makes it that extra bit soothing which I definitely been in need of the past few weeks! I love Liz Earle, I've not had a product I don't like from them yet and all the ingredients are natural which always appeals to me when it comes to skincare. 


So that's my current skincare regime! I'm not going to lie and say I do it every night because some days it's a miracle if I actually get changed to go to bed but so far so good on the skin front! I really notice a difference whenever I have a good set of skincare so I'm hoping this will keep up the good work.


19 October 2017

PREGNANCY AFTER A LOSS // THE SECOND TRIMESTER


After being told I had a haematoma I got back from the scan, panic googled everything and spent the next 6 weeks on bed rest so my body could concentrate on fixing it. Between that and general tension in the house I just spent most of my time feeling sick and exhausted as hell in our "bedroom" which was half of a living room with a sheet hung up in between. Not the most ideal situation.

I had my midwife booking appointment super late because of having to move doctors and general admin fuck ups so I was about 13 weeks by the time it came around. I remember being pretty terrified in case I ended up hating the midwife or threw up in the middle of the children's centre or something as my morning sickness was pretty intense by this point. I lived off cheese and crackers, Tic Tacs, fizzy elderflower water and Doritos.

We had our 12 week scan a bit late, I was actually more like 14 weeks. This was the day, we didn't need to know the dating really because we had only had a scan a few weeks prior but I desperately wanted to know if the haematoma had at least shrunk. I went in armed with a sample of piss to be told they can't use it and I've have to do another one. Super fucking fun that was, why do they give you such tiny things to try and piss in!? I can hardly see my fucking feet let alone a tiny sample pot. 100% getting piss on my hands and everywhere else too.

I had a student doing my scan, normally I don't mind at all but I was terrified and I couldn't tell if she was trying to scan me or scoop my stomach out like a tub of fucking ice cream. I was actually squeezing Ben's hand at the point because she was hurting me so much. Anyway, everything was perfect and her and the other sonograher were confident that they couldn't find the haematoma so it had been absorbed by my body just like I had hoped! Ben felt the first little movements at 15 weeks a few weeks after I felt the first little wriggles. Finally I could relax...not.


My 20 week scan date fell in the same week Eloise started school so it was all levels of manic what with trying to rush back in time to pick her up instead of being able to take her which is what we had originally hoped to be able to do. After many positions and a mid scan toilet break the sonographer finally managed to measure my baby who was apparently playing hide and seek.

At this point everyone was convinced Lily was going to be a boy so naturally she proved everyone wrong and turned out to be a girl. The sonographer also noted that her head was measuring small but assured me it was only slightly under they expected size and not to worry.

We picked Eloise up after her half day at school and told her in the reception. She was the only one who thought the baby was a girl and desperately wanted a sister so she was pretty pleased.


I was considered high risk and was consultant led anyway because I had retained placenta after my first birth and my initial thoughts were it would be a quick appointment with them explaining some measures to help avoid that happening again and that would be that. I was wrong, obviously. I was about 26 weeks I think when I had my first consultant appointment, it was a ridiculous amount of weeks late because I kept having to reschedule for various reasons but I eventually got there.

Everything was okay, they discussed how the risk of having retained placenta again wasn't significant and to try not to worry. The consultant also mentioned about previous low birth weight, I had been told at the time that there were not really any concerns about Eloise's weight but apparently not. Anyway, they decided to measure my bump which had not long been measure by my community midwife who found it to be slightly on the small side but I was small anyway so she wasn't concerned. Turns out I was measuring nearly 6 weeks behind and this is where the fun started. From now on I would practically live at the hospital.


Shortly after my 20 week scan Eloise came down with a really bad virus which after being blue lighted to hospital in an ambulance was eventually diagnosed as measles. I had to have two blood tests to check if I was immune. Normally you'd only need the one blood test to determine this but naturally the first was inconclusive so I had to have it done again. Eventually, after being quarantined for nearly 2 weeks, school getting pissy and battling with constant high temperatures, vomit, sore throats and coughs along with a saliva sample sent off to the Virus Reference Department it was found that Eloise didn't have measles at all and had been misdiagnosed.

Despite several fuck ups the second trimester was easier than the first in terms of pure terror. I remember hitting the 24 week milestone of viability and breathing a sigh of relief for all of 10 minutes. For me the second trimester was the calm before the storm.

Read about my first trimester here and Lily's birth story and video here.


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