// I changed my name when I was 16. Not my entire name, just my surname. I changed it to my Mums maiden name.
// I’ve known my Fiancé, Ben, since I was 2 years old. We were best friends for 8 years before becoming a thing. We also went to the same nursery, primary school, high school and college. I went to a few extra schools and such in between but I always ended up back where he was. We even ended up doing the same course at college and I don’t believe in fate or anything but I think that’s pretty cool.
// I always have to have a drink after eating.
// Eloise’s middle name, May, is the same as my Grandmas.
// When I’m not writing stuff for my blog or parenting I’m partial to various art mediums. My main being watercolour, lettering and crochet.
// I sucked my thumb until I was 7 years old. My Mum bribed me to stop with a cheap ass dog toy from Tesco. I called him Fudge and stopped overnight. Eloise is now the proud owner of Fudge the dog which has a green watercolour stain on his arse. Art was a big part of my life even back then haha.
// I fucking hate touching raw meat. I literally won’t do it unless I’m wearing gloves and even that is unlikely. I slow cooked a ham the other week and bleached everything it went near and binned the knife I cut it with.
// I am a self proclaimed crazy cat lady. Top score for cat owner ship in a household I lived in stood at 6 until I moved out. We now only have 1 dickhead called Garfield who likes to lick his empty ball sack in full view and normally while we are eating. He gives head butts, knows when someone in the house is ill or sad and he’s a twat but I love him.
// My favourite flowers are peonies.
// I’m a boho hippy chick at heart. Give me all the mandalas and brightly coloured awesome.
// I rinse Gun Game in COD Ghosts.
// I’ve moved house 5 times in the last few years.
// Eloise was briefly called Tabitha when I was pregnant but it didn’t feel right so it was quickly crossed off the list.
// I know the entire phonetic alphabet which everyone is always pretty shocked about. My Grandad used to be Chairman of the ATC which I joined at 13 despite the fact he owned planes the entire time I was growing up I am terrified of flying. He also worked on Lancaster Bombers back in the days when he was part of the RAF and even built his own plane which I think is pretty darn cool.
// I love eating cottage cheese with crushed ready salted crisps. Ben calls me disgusting but he chews boiled sweets so what does he know.
// Happy Blooming Bath Melt is my favourite this from Lush. It smells like cherry yoghurt and is amazing on every level.
// I own a typewriter, a vinyl record player, numerous Polaroid cameras, various vintage jumpers from the 80s. Mom jeans and I dress Lily in vintage dresses. I feel like I’m an anachronism.
// I fell pregnant with Eloise at 18.
// I want at least 4 children. I feel like being a Mum is my “thing” and nothing makes me feel more complete than my babies.
// Mcdonald’s mozzarella sticks and salsa are the best things ever but one bag just isn’t enough. I have ordered 3 before.
// On the topic of MDs my entire order if money wasn’t an issue would be – box of chicken nuggets (20 obviously), mozzarella sticks, chicken selects, spicy veggie deluxe, large fries with curry sauce, an apple pie and a chocolate milkshake.
// Mint sauce in Shepard’s Pie is the best thing ever.
// I have 2 horses who have been in my family since I was a kid.
// I love Autumn, it’s my favourite season! Halloween, pumpkins, crispy leaves, that cold air smell.
// I cannot stand hearing people chew. It actually makes me so unreasonably annoyed and uncomfortable it’s not even funny. I don’t always notice it but when I do then my GOD do I want to throw that food in your face. It’s called Misophonia and it’s actually a thing, see here. Pretty sure the sound of bullshit also triggers it.
// I lived off Subway salads for longer than I care to admit – lettuce, tomatoes, cucumber, sweetcorn, carrot, pepper, jalapeños, onion, olives (occasionally), extra cheese, extra steak, ham and bacon with 1/3 chipotle, 1/3 mayo and 1/3 ranch. Yep, I was one of those annoying dickheads who had like 3 different dressings. I had it so often they knew exactly what I wanted before even placing the order. Slightly embarrassing but the tastiest salad ever.
// Subway cookies taste like Subways smells. I only like them straight after a sub or they taste like meatballs.
// Cadbury’s Marvellous Creations Jelly Popping Candy, Guylian Chocolate Sea Shells, Cadbury’s Turkish Delight, Tesco Value White Chocolate (that’s like 45p) and anything praline are my favourites. (I did try and think of one but I’m a greedy shit so have several) Also Monty Bojangles!
// I haven’t hiccupped since I was a kid.
// When I was a kid I collected erasers, not the boring kinds but the cool scented ones and other cute animals shaped ones. I used to have one that looked like a lipstick. I also collected though scented gel pens (grape was my favourite).
// I religiously kept a diary for the entirety of year 6 in primary school which I still have now. It’s a red thing from Claire’s Accessories with devils wings and the word “rebel” on the front haha.
I home educated Eloise in Reception and she actually didn’t start school until year 1. Reason being simply that she just didn’t want to go to school yet and the local school then was crap. She decided in the summer holidays before year 1 that she wanted to give it a go (cue mad rush to get an application in!) and she started at the infant school both me and Ben went to as kids and turns out it was worse than when we were there and she suffered a ridiculous amount of bullying during the first term, we moved schools and she’s loved it ever since.
// I was home educated for years 9, 10 and 11 because my mental health got so bad.
// Caterpillar cakes are the best.
// I colour coordinate my bookshelf.
// Only fizzy drinks can quench my thirst. Ever since I got pregnant with Eloise I haven’t really been able to drink anything flat. Morning sickness is weird.
// My top two all time favourite TV shows are Doctor Who (pre Matt Smith, although I kind of ended up quite liking him too) and Supernatural. Everyone loves a bit of Dean Winchester.
// I have to have a drink with the last mouthful of every meal.
// I’m still sad that Lush stopped selling The Enchanter bath bomb even though it dyed my bath and child orange.
// Quorn cocktail sausages are my favourite snack at the moment.
// I actually used to like school dinners.
// I have ring with an Amethyst in which would have been my Angel Baby’s birthstone. I bought it whilst I was technically still pregnant so that makes it even more special to me, knowing my baby was still inside me when I bought it. I don’t know if that’s silly or not but it is kind of comforting in a way and I’m glad I got it when I did.
// I genuinely get hangry. I suffer from hypos and if I’m even slightly hungry I’m the grumpiest, miserable shithead ever.
// I miss Missisipi Mud Pie Muller Corners and 3D Doritos. Also pizza Lunchables.
// I have owned 8 pushchairs over the course of 2 kids. Most of them sucked. My favourite has got to be my Bugaboo Chameleon which I sold for £50 a couple of years ago because it was too big to get in and out of the car. The first Bugaboo I actually owned was an ancient old Frog when Eloise was a baby because I was 19 and poor. I covered in black vinyl to try and make it look less shit which sort of worked I guess but I ended up saving and getting a Cam anyway. Now I have an even shittier bright pink thing I bought for a fiver off a Facebook selling page! I can actually just about put it up and down on my own though so that’s a bonus.
// This took me several weeks to complete.