It’s that time of year again where photos of the mountains of presents under the tree with the caption “is this enough” or “how do I wrap aaaaaall these?!” are posted all over social media, overflowing stockings fit to burst. We all know these posts are, 99% of the time, people showing off, which is totally fine. If you want to flaunt the lovely gifts you’ve got your kids online then that’s your decision but just be fucking honest about it guys, come on.
Both my girls have small stockings purely because while we aren’t swimming in money by a long chalk, there will always be children with families who are worse off, for whatever reason. My kids don’t give a toss how much Santa brings them but I always make sure they don’t get a lot from him, at the end of the day he’s a very busy guy but the reason I only give them a few bits in their stockings is not because of that, but so they’re not excitedly telling other children, who perhaps didn’t get much this year, that Santa got them shit loads when maybe he could only give the other child a colouring book. I don’t want my kids to be the reason another child asks their parents why Santa got the other kids so much more than them.
So here is a run down of what Santa has put in Eloise and Lily’s stockings this year:

Eloise’s stocking cost about £21 and Lily’s cost about £5. I didn’t put much in Lily’s at all mainly because she is 23 months old and couldn’t give a shit about Christmas. We have had family over the past few days and she wouldn’t open even one of her presents. Eloise has a game in hers which bumped the total of hers up a lot, but she has wanted this game for a while and asked Father Christmas for it which he found for £14 in Game (he only paid £10 because he borrowed some money off Ben’s game card). The Moana DVD is second hand so cost a couple of quid.

As for Christmas Eve boxes, I do like to put together a little box with a film, book, reindeer food and some hot chocolate in but with moving house I just didn’t get round to it so they had a Lush bath instead which was filled with glitter and now my bath looks like a unicorn has shat in it.

They have left Father Christmas an Aldi Spiced Salted Caramel Mince Pie, a regular sized carrot and a micro carrot along with a glass of milk (although I’m sure he would have preferred something a little stronger). Their stockings are waiting on the end of their beds. Well, I say stockings, Eloise has a stocking. Lily has a creepy retro elf thing that used to be Ben’s, with pockets down the front of his trousers and also an arse pocket. You literally have to reach into his pants to get the presents out. Weird.

Merry Christmas Everyone!


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