I’ve been really struggling on what to write lately. My mind has too many tabs open and it’s a mess up there. I’m trying to take a step back and a few steps away from the technical mess and find something more real than pixels on my screen and what better way to escape than between the pages of a book.
Here are a few on my reading list right now, you’ll see most are quite centered around mental health (okay they all are minus Close To Home). I don’t tend to gravitate towards books with such a strong presence of mental illness, I normally opt for poetry or short stories, something I can take in small chunks; I get too invested in books and I guess I just avoided anything that looked too heavy mental health wise because I’m too busy distracting myself from mine that I automatically avoid anything that might put a crack in my facade I think. But these have sat waiting for ages now and I feel like it’s time.
Reasons To Stay Alive – Matt Haig; Matt Haig is a name I keep seeing. I see his quotes everywhere and the reviews on this book alone made me buy it. I love anything beautifully raw and if there is something I can relate to then it’s mental health. I’ve seen such wonderful but terrible quotes from his books and I feel like now really is the right time to open the pages of this one.
“The bottom of the valley never provides the clearest view. The tunnel does have light at the end of it, even if we haven’t been able to see it”
Notes On A Nervous Planet – Matt Haig; Another Matt Haig. This one is
“I sometimes feel like my head is a computer with too many windows open. Too much clutter on the desktop. There is a metaphorical spinning rainbow wheel inside me. Disabling me. And if only I could find a way to switch off some of the frames, if only I could drag some of the clutter into the trash, then I would be fine. But which frame would I choose, when they all seem so essential? How can I stop my mind being overloaded when the world is overloaded? We can think about anything. And so it makes sense that we end up thinking about everything. We might have to, sometimes, be brave enough to switch the screens off in order to switch ourselves back on. To disconnect in order to reconnect.”
Close To Home – Cara Hunter; This one was a spur of the moment audible
Under Rose Tainted Skies – Louise Gornall; I bought this after seeing someone on Instagram post about it. The main character, Norah, has agoraphobia and it’s not often you come across a book with a relatively “rare” mental illness and I felt like I’d really be able to relate to it as I have struggled with agoraphobia myself. The reviews are great with people saying the reflection of the illness is represented well so I’m looking forward to reading this one!
“See, anxiety doesn’t just stop. You can have nice moments, minutes where it shrinks, but it doesn’t leave. It lurks in the background like a shadow, like that important assignment you have to do but keep putting off or the dull ache that follows a three-day migraine. The best you can hope for is to contain it, make it as small as possible so it stops being intrusive. Am I coping? Yes, but it’s taking a monumental amount of effort to keep the dynamite inside my stomach from exploding.”